Unemployed, Rejected, and Uncertain

Lately I have been feeling rejected and depressed. As a family we have decided that I will look for a full-time job and go back to work. Initially, I was enthused about this decision. I was happy because, it’s hard living on a strict budget and working with very little. Living on one income definitely challenges me to be faithful and to make the most of all of my resources.

I guess I was being arrogant and prideful when I applied for jobs. I believed employers would want to hire me immediately. I have submitted employment applications for tons of jobs since the end of July. So far I have gone on one interview and I did not get the job. One day I received 3 rejection emails from potential employers in one day. I started to doubt my ability as a designer and I felt uncertain about the future, kids won't be kids forever. My husband wasn’t pressuring me to get a job but I just felt like, I of all people should be working a 9-5 by now.

The other night before bedtime I did a bible study with the kids. We go in order in our children’s bible and it just so happened that the study was on Jonah. I was already having a bad day. I felt rejected, depressed, and I was eating more hoping it would make me feel better. In my most pessimistic thought I just wanted to hurry and get the bible study done and over because we have studied this story so many times.

I cannot recall how long ago it was but I went to InTouch Ministries website and subscribed to their free InTouch magazine. The bad day I had the previous day had carried over to the next day. I checked the mailbox that afternoon and noticed the InTouch magazine I subscribed to had finally arrived. As I ate my dinner in the evening, I thought maybe I should read an article. Flipping through pages I settled on an article I knew nothing about but I was more intrigued by the picture. I wasn’t sure if it was a black man praying but it appeared to be. The article was titled, From the Belly of the Beast: How to pray when life goes dark by Winn Collier.

Photo by InTouch Ministries

 The article started with a brief story about three gold miners, one died, who were buried alive; trapped in a safety cage for two weeks. For the gold miners that experience was their dark moment. Next the article goes to the story of Jonah in the bible and Jonah is described as having a dark experience while being trapped in the belly of a fish. The article urges you to imagine yourself being the one cast over into the furious waves and swallowed by a large fish. In Jonah’s dark moment, the article says, Jonah prayed. The article suggests that in our dark moments we should pray. The irony is that last night I read about Jonah and now I am revisiting it again. I believe everyone has their dark moments that are personal to them. I felt joyful and encouraged that even during my feelings of rejection and uncertainty, my own dark moment, I was encouraged all the more to abide in him.

Maybe the night before as I begrudgingly did the bible study with the children Jesus was trying to tell me something then. I just couldn’t hear him at the time so he repeated it again for me in a way that I could understand. I was able to ponder Jesus’ rejection and his dark experience for us, so that we may live.

When you feel rejection, depression, or any dark moments what are some positive ways that you deal with them to see joyful light again? I would love to know your solutions.

Tissue Leaf Rubbing

It's fall and every season I try to find a craft for the kids to do. Once completed, I like to boost their self-esteem and tell them that it looks good and that they are artists!

Earlier in the year I had the opportunity to be the Art teacher for an afternoon at my son Joshua's classroom. The teacher planned a lesson that I taught and I instructed the students creating crafts and paintings for “Evening at the Gallery” at the school. The projects came out so well that I was inspired to have my kids create something that would be gallery worthy.

It just so happened that I got a newsletter from TeacherVision – Family Education Network that I subscribe to. They have crafts and lessons for kids too. In the Newsletter I found a project that read, “Autumn Leaves Activity Book for Kids.” I thought it would be the perfect boredom buster for my kids. In the booklet it had a very simple art project, a tissue leaf rubbing on page 14 of the activity book.

• Cut 5" tissue paper squares (use colorful tissue paper)
• Fresh leaves with prominent veins
• Brown crayon (I prefer the fat brown crayons)
• Paper half sheets (I used 9" x 12" watercolor half sheets, white printer paper half sheets for layout)
• Liquid corn starch (I used Mod Podge) 

Being the artist that I am, I made a few small modifications to the project. I used some water color paper, Mod Podge and added a half inch border by masking if off with drafting tape. This craft costs me $0, I used items I had in the house. Here's another idea, if you're not handy with drafting tape and an X-Acto knife, you can buy some small frames and frame the pictures.

I thought this would be the easiest project ever. I taped the leaves down on a hard surface then I taped the tissue paper over the leaves. My 5 year old daughter kept ripping the tissue paper as she rubbed. I thought in my mind, wow, how could you mess this up? My son who is 8 made so many leaf rubbings because he was not satisfied with any of his rubbings. My daughter was so upset she went to her room crying. My son kept complaining that the project was stupid and it wouldn’t look right. Surprisingly, I kept calm throughout the chaotic ordeal. I encouraged my son that the project would look great. I went to Alyssa’s room and encouraged her to finish and that she was doing a great job. For Alyssa to finish her project I just used the extra rubbings Josh had made. I took a plain half sheet of paper and let them lay it out so when I added Mod Podge to the water color paper they would know how to lay it out. They glued it down without any problems.

The next day while Joshua and Alyssa were at school I prepared the artwork by scoring off the edges of tissue paper, using a slim X-Acto knife, that overlapped the drafting tape then I pulled the drafting tape up. When I finished all 3 works of art I hung them up in the dining room. They were BEAUTIFUL! When the kids came home and saw them and were amazed!

Left to right, by Alyssa, Joshua, and Momma

Indian Corn Fall Centerpiece

I don't believe I have ever done a centerpiece. The other day I went to a farm and they were selling tons of Indian corn for .50 each. The corn was beautiful. I didn't know what I would do with it but I bought 4 ears of Indian corn for $2. First I put the corn outside in an old ceramic pot for a couple of days not for anything special, I just didn't know what to do with it. I searched on the Internet, "how can I decorate with Indian corn?" This image appeared:

Here's the link for the image

I knew this was something that I could do and best of all I had everything I needed already in my home, including a thick candle. I didn't search for a step-by-step how-to I just made everything up as I went along using these supplies:

Turns out I didn't buy enough corn to fit around my vase so I took some of the leaves off the corn and filled in the gaps. So I would put corn then leaves, etc. Here's the final project:

Train like a star with the Hollywood Trainer

I am not bragging but I have always had a slim build. After having our first two children I could go back to pre-pregnancy size in 3-6 months easy. After having our third child (Jason) after age 30, I began to pick up weight and I was not losing it even after a year. Despite my best efforts of going to the gym, 3 days a week, for 6 months. I'm not so sure if it was just my metabolism, age or the fact that I hadn’t consistently exercised or ate healthy since I was in the Navy 12 years ago. Could it have been that I prided myself in being the “bottomless pit?” Below were my rules for food.

Monica’s Food Rules:

1. Eat whatever you want

2. Don’t drink soda, juice or water while having a meal (it will make you feel full faster and you won’t be able to finish all of your food)

3. Have a drink of water only after you have eaten all the food you want to eat

4. Eat more than your husband

5. Finish your food at the restaurant (appreciate your meal, people in this world starve daily)

The bottomless pit was catching up with me and was about to swallow me up and I could not fit my clothes anymore. I was moving into a M/L range. That size isn't bad but I am short and have always been small. Some women have a beautiful distribution of weight and they look great. But not me. I have a flat chest, and I develop a gut and butt when I gain weight.

I didn’t feel very good about myself. A year later after being pregnant I was still wearing my maternity clothes in public. After walking on a treadmill for 6 months and lifting weights while feeling like the men were staring at me in the gym, I wanted to lose weight and I wanted a change. I needed to feel beautiful for myself. It had nothing to do with anyone else, just me.

I did an internet search on the best workout DVD’s and someone named Jeanette Jenkins pops up. I have never even heard of this lady, the Hollywood Trainer. I looked at her reviews for DVD’s on Amazon which were pretty good. I decided to purchase the Hollywood Trainer 21 Day Total Body Circuit DVD, nothing fancy just basic exercises. It also came with a thin booklet that scared the mess out of me about nutrition. It was enough for me start researching nutrition for myself. Actually if you get the book, The Hollywood Trainer Weight-Loss Plan: 21 Days To Make Healthy Living a Lifetime Habit By Jeanette Jenkins , it’s a lot better than getting the one DVD I purchased because the book comes with the DVD for $5 more and additional goodies I don't have on my DVD.

The Hollywood Trainer

The DVD proved to be effective for me. I consistently did ONLY this DVD for about 3 months switching between workouts, A and B, 4-5 days a week. People of various fitness levels are in this DVD and I am always more motivated by competition. As I got stronger I had to ditch this DVD because for me, it's a beginner's DVD though Jeanette says it grows with you.

I am by no means saying you should buy or try this DVD; but this gave me some motivation to change. If you're serious about getting somewhere, it may change your life. It's been just one out of many stepping stones for me. Now I am truly interested in helping others reach their goals . . . . [HINT HINT]

I subscribe to Jeanette Jenkin's tips because she's qualified and credible. She gives free advice on exercise, health, and nutrition.

I lost 11 lbs. on my journey and yes, it took me months to lose 11 lbs not 21 days.

Here are my new exercise motivation rules:

1. Girl, you look good in the mirror!

2. Kickboxing is fun! (do exercises you enjoy doing)

3. Don't use a scale, measure your upper arms, thighs, waist, and hip.

4. Take photos of milestones, take a 2 week picture, a 1 month picture, etc. . . .

5. Research and read about the food you eat, OFTEN

6. Consistency is the greatest reward!

7. JUST DO IT! like Nike

What kinds of exercises do you enjoy and how do you stay motivated?